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Welcome

(HOST) Hey, I'm Mo Rocca coming to you from the ancient ruins of Machu Picchu. Imagine if managing your banking were as easy as navigating that crazy system of computer tubes. The kids call it the information super highway. Well now it is. Join me, Mo Rocca as I dump a load of banking knowledge on your internets.

Mobile

(HOST) Remember when going to the bank was sexy? I want to talk to you about your banking fantasies. Don't hold back! I know you don't know me but you can tell me. What do you wear when you bank?

(INTERVIEWEE) (LAUGHTER)

(HOST) I mean, would you be in a bubble bath? Where would you be?

(INTERVIEWEE) I'm on top of the mountain in the Swiss Alps, not too high for wireless access. Checking.. naked.. on my computer.

(HOST) You're checking your account balance...

(INTERVIEWEE) Yup, transferring funds maybe?.

(HOST) Ooh, ouch, thats hot!

(INTERVIEWEE) Im in a bustle and flowing train. I'd love to be able to bank from bed. Golden locks flying behind me with my laptop in front of me .

(HOST) I can bank naked.

(INTERVIEWEE) You can bank naked?

(HOST) Did you ever imagine that banking could be this hot?

(INTERVIEWEE) No.

(HOST) Are you jealous?

(INTERVIEWEE) Sort of, actually

(HOST) Do your parents know how you want to be banking?

(INTERVIEWEE) Uh, definitely not.

(HOST) Imagine we were making out, and you could mobile bank at the same time! Would the approve?

(INTERVIEWEE) Uh, I don't think so.

(HOST) Is there room in this relationship for your husband AND mobile banking? Thats all the more reason you're into mobile banking?

(INTERVIEWEE) Yes. Hmmm... he doesn't need to know anything.

(HOST) Hey, don't tell mama!

"Bank the way you live."

Mobile pt. 2

(HOST) Hi, I'm financial expert Mo Rocca coming to you from the stunning Joshua Tree National Park, and I want to know what you wanna know. It's a pretty cold wintery day.

(INTERVIEWEE) Indeed it is, yes.

(HOST) Where would you like to be? Give me all the details.

(INTERVIEWEE) Uh, on the beach.

(HOST) Where?

(INTERVIEWEE) Wish I was in Miami right now, be a lot warmer.

(HOST) Where are you? Are you in a ski lodge?

(INTERVIEWEE) Um, were in Australia. Im going to the bar right now to fantasy where I am. Laying on the beach, just relaxing. That's my fantasy right now - a nice cold beer right now.

(HOST) Are there Kangaroos?.

(INTERVIEWEE) Yah.

(HOST) and Koalas?

(INTERVIEWEE) Yah.

(HOST) and wallabies.

(INTERVIEWEE) Yah!

(HOST) So you're just sleeping on the beach in Tahiti?

(INTERVIEWEE) Ya.

(HOST) Is there a jacuzzi involved? Communing with dolphins?

(INTERVIEWEE) Ya.

(HOST) Imagine all that happening... and doing banking at the same time.

(INTERVIEWEE) Banking? Excuse me?

(HOST) I knew it! What if you could go to Sweden and you could mobile bank?

(INTERVIEWEE) Mobile bank...Wonderful! That sounds cool. That be interesting, I might enjoy that.

(HOST) So you're with your girlfriend...there's a monkey perched on your shoulder, you're drinking out of a coconut.

(INTERVIEWEE) So far so good.

(HOST) and you're checking your balance.

(INTERVIEWEE) Wow.

(HOST) There's a ball game on...

(INTERVIEWEE) and I'm banking.

Alerts

(HOST) Alerts, they can't really tell your future, but they can help you control your destiny. Tell me about your worst break-up.

(INTERVIEWEE) My worst break-up...Ohh jeez... I've only had one really bad break- up, in my whole life. That would be 2 weeks without eating after a girl dumped me.

(HOST) Were there signs that maybe you missed along the way, or?

(INTERVIEWEE) Yeah, definitely. Absolutely.

(HOST) And what were they?

(INTERVIEWEE) She moved out. Little stuff ya know, like changed the locks on the apartment.

(HOST) Do you wish there had been a system to alert you?

(INTERVIEWEE) OH definitely, it'd be great! Ah yeah! Absolutely! What kind of system?

(HOST) I don't know, maybe it was a bell, it could be a umm, buzzer ?

(INTERVIEWEE) Maybe like a calling service, or somethin'. Ahh, I mean a pigeon could have came?

(HOST) (RADIO ANNOUNCER VOICE) Your girlfriend just changed the locks on the apartment.

(HOST) It's terrible that a system like that doesn't exist!

(INTERVIEWEE) That would be nice to have an alerts system like that.

(HOST) (HORNS HONKING IN THE BACKGROUND) I want a little head's up, don't you?

Overdraft

(HOST) Hi, I'm financial expert Mo Rocca coming to you from big-sky country in Montana, and I want to know what do you use for protection. What do you use for protection?

(INTERVIEWEE) referring to?

(HOST) protection.

(INTERVIEWEE) Excuse me? What do I use for protection? (LAUGHTER) Um...Hmmm...Um...Uhhh....You know...Everyone needs protection right? I don't use protection to be honest with ya.

(HOST) You don't have overdraft protection?

(INTERVIEWEE) Right, yeah, no. Are we talking about bank statements?

(HOST) Ya! Uh hmm.

(INTERVIEWEE) Ohhhhh!

(HOST) What? Wait a minute, what did you think I was asking you about?

(INTERVIEWEE) Banking? Oh gosh.

(HOST) So you're not using protection?

(INTERVIEWEE) I guess I'm not.

(HOST) I guess I didn't realize how the kids roll these days. Generation Z is just out of control!

Overdraft pt. 2

(HOST) We've all been there. Even the most prepared of us have found ourselves in a pickle. It's a life and death situation, and that thing you've counted on to see you through a rough situation, just isn't there. Do you have a complaint for something that just isn't there when you really need it?

(INTERVIEWEE) I would say toilet paper, Milk, Sugar. It's frustrating when the conditioner is gone. Butter, Toothpaste

(HOST) OHHHH that's horrible! So he puts an empty tube of toothpaste back by the sink? You don't want a sugar substitute?

(INTERVIEWEE) Not really.

(HOST) What do you use instead?

(INTERVIEWEE) Ah, I don't know! I've just... your finger, I guess. I have no idea. Soap?

(HOST) And you've got a really healthy sheen.

(INTERVIEWEE) Thank you.

(HOST) Due to your husband's forgetfulness, you're having to wash your mouth out with soap? And why is there no milk?

(INTERVIEWEE) It's usually my own fault cause I live by myself.

(HOST) Do you have any animals in your home that could produce milk?

(INTERVIEWEE) No.

(HOST) You're on the commode, and...Tell me what do you use?

(INTERVIEWEE) Ummm? Whatever's at hand...Papertowel, Old recyclables

(HOST) How does it feel when you remember, wait a minute, you actually had an extra bottle of conditioner underneath the sink. How exciting is it? What's that feeling that comes over you when you realize...Wait a minute, there actually is a stash of milk in that separate little fridge that you guys were just using for beer. How would you feel? How would you feel? I've got a stick of butter someplace. Dear god in heaven, I have an extra roll of toilet paper I've been keeping in my kitchen cabinet.

(INTERVIEWEE) I'm happy, very happy. That would be great! {sigh} ???????

(HOST) I can feel the relief!

Mobile (Hidden)

(HOST) {strange noises} Dude I'm checking my balance, back off.

Alerts (Hidden)

(HOST) Did you know that you can be insane AND mobile bank at the same time?.

(INTERVIEWEE) I've never even thought of such a thing.

(HOST) So you could be bouncing off the walls in a straight jacket and transferring funds...

(INTERVIEWEE) You're absolutely sure of this?

(HOST) Pretty sure.

Overdraft (Hidden)

(INTERVIEWEE) (SINGING) I listen to a song I don't really know...I read a book I'd rather not read

(HOST) And keep singing and mobile bank at the same time with your fingers.

(INTERVIEWEE) and I'm mobile banking with my phone

(HOST) Yeah, keep singing.

(INTERVIEWEE) (SINGING) Have these things I don't really need alive and well Oh, and I just got another hundred dollars in my banking account.

Overdraft (Hidden pt. 2)

(INTERVIEWEE) (SINGING)

(HOST) She's singing and she's transferring funds.

(INTERVIEWEE) (SINGING)

(HOST) She's singing and she just checked her balance.

(INTERVIEWEE) (SINGING)